Here's the latest issue of the Club Penguin Times:
HOT SAUCE CASE CONTINUES
Special agents on the case of the missing hot sauce.
Details continue to come out this week in the case of the missing hot sauce bottle. Knowing that the safely of the island is at stake, I went to the center of the action to assess the situation.
The crime scene at the Pizza Parlor is buzzing with agents trying to crack the case. "We're working overtime here to get the volatile substance out of the wrong hands," an agent at the scene commented.
"Many of our top agents have discovered some new evidence I believe will lead directly to the suspect." Citizens are assured that Club Penguin's safety is a top priority for the Elite Penguin Force. "We've got the best of the best on this case. There's nothing they can't handle."
"Our directions are to have this case wrapped up by April 16." If citizens encounter anything suspicious, they are asked to report it to the nearest EPF agent.
NEW FLASH
Unusual seismic activity reported on the island. Gary the Gadget Guy is currently investigation the phenomenon.
SECRET AGENTS REWARDED
Brave agents honored with medals.
Some of the island's top agents were almost lost for words as the Director congratulated them on their exceptional work. I spoke to one penguin - who preferred to remain anonymous - about his success in the case of the missing hot sauce.
"It's an honor being recognized for all the hard work we do to protect the island," the agent commented. "I'm going to use my medals to update my Elite Gear. But really, the work is the reward." The Director of the Elite Penguin Force provided The Club Penguin Times with the following statement.
"I encourage you to step up to the challenge." "Your efforts will be rewarded." "If you're got what it takes, answer the call."
UPCOMING EVENTS
On now Igloo Furniture
Igloos just got a little more metropolitan. Update your igloo today!
On now New Igloos
Secret base? Villain Lair? Abandoned Warehourse? What will your igloo become?
Heroes and Villains collide... on Apr. 25.
Find the collectible pin! Hidden now until April 17
Next pin hidden: April 18 - May 1
Can I visit your lab?
On account of recent incidents, it's imperative only agents know the location of my lab. I've set up a lab in the Command Room. Agents may drop by, if by chance you have evidence to be analyzed. Watch were you step when you arrive! I haven't had time to fully unpack. Science waits for no one!
Why would anyone want to steal hot sauce?
A superb question, my good penguin. While hot sauce can be used on pizza, it has also proved extremely useful for propulsion and combustion. It's been used in combination with an O'Berry to escape from an icy cave. When combined with cream soda, it proves to be a magnificent fuel for jet packs! Splendiferous, but explosive in the wrong paws.
Science doesn't stop for a coffee break.
What's your latest invention?
The Trace Tracker 3000 is my latest success! After many attempts proved futile, I discovered that including a capacitor, a microscopic LED light, and a tin foil chip would allow agents to illuminate trace evidence effectively. Currently I'm tinkering with a gadget that will allow me to bake. 10 minute brownies in 8 minutes. Gadzooks!
That's 12,000 milliseconds more I'll be able to spend on my next invention! I predict the brownies will be exponentially tastier. I'm 99.6% sure I'll have it perfected in no time! I'm also working on a prototype that will extract energy from rocks, but I've encountered some strange side effects.
In my latest attempt, I turned putrid green from head to toe and emitted a swamp-like smell. I'll have to revise my hypothesis and conduct further tests. For science!
SECRETS
ELITE PENGUIN FORCE
THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS FOR EPF AGENTS ONLY!
If that's not you - look away now!!!!
If you've solved Operation Hot Sauce you can replay the mission to hone your skills. You'll earn extra medals each time your complete it. Stay sharp, agents!
JOKES
Q. What do you call a fake noodle?
A. An im-pasta!
-Purbleloop
Q. What can't a leopard play hide and seek?
A. Because he's always spotted!
-Vilot2013
Q. What did the teacher say when it was raining cats and dogs?
A. Be careful, don't stop on a poodle!
-Ilovecats757
Q. Why do giraffes have long necks?
A. Because they have smelly feet?
-Readerpuff
Q. What shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open toad sandals!
A. Open toad sandals!
-Szulcy
Q. What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?
A. Pie!
-Taj02
Q. What's blue, green, red, and jumps up and down?
A. A chameleon with hiccups!
-Puppykeir
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